I've watched friends blog for quite a while now and I've often thought this would be a good way to put down ideas and thoughts that run through my brain at times. A way to quiet the mind. Actually taking the time to do this is another story. However, life and growth give way to changes and make one realize you simply have to make the time and then take it. I'm not sure how often I will blog, but for now I am simply getting started and we will see where it goes.
When one enters into their 40's you start to take a different look at life and get a new perspective. I can only imagine what the 50's will have me pondering. My Mom was only 45 when she left this earth and that has forever affected my life. In both good and bad ways. I honestly don't remember much about the two years that followed her death. At the time I didn't completely realize the depression I had fallen into, but looking back I can see it now. Her death forever altered my life. I lost my Mom, best friend, confident, and support system when she left this earth. I have been trying hard the past few years to get my life back on track. Oh I didn't go and do anything stupid after her death, but a part of me quit living and I think a part of me quite honestly quit caring. I'm not even sure anyone truly new or noticed except for probably my incredible husband. I started trying to pick up the pieces and put my life back together only to have it keep falling apart over and over. For some of us, God has to let us totally destroy ourselves so we will turn to Him and let Him pick us back up and truly start to "fix" us. I'm learning I have to "let go and let God". Truly a hard and difficult lesson for me.
There are so many areas of my life that need to be repaired that there are days I don't even know where to start. From as complicated as finances to as simple as cleaning and organizing my home. I've started some baby steps and will blog about these as time goes on. So this blog is about pondering right now. Pondering life, family, finances, religion, and anything else that comes to mind....
