What is your Dream?

So, I guess blogging is not really my thing as it's been many months since I've posted anything.  Any pointers on blogging would be helpful :)  How to upload pics etc.

I'm reading a new book called Knit Together by Debbie Macomber.  It is very interesting and an easy read.  I love how she shares her life story/dreams/goals and how she achieved them to give the reader hope, inspiration, and courage to follow their dreams.

Have you ever gotten to a point in your life where you think hmmm what is my dream/goal?  That's where I am currently.  I know what passion and purpose is, I've been there done that.  I remember setting a goal(s) (not realizing at the time that's what I was doing.) for myself in HS of what I wanted to achieve in five years.  What's crazy is that many years later when I found that page with those goals written on them I had achieved everyone of them.  When I left home at 18 I left with a purpose and a fire in my "belly" to reach a goal.  I was the first female in my family to go to college and I wanted to be the first with a degree.  I also decided one day I wanted to be a music major.  No one bothered to let me know one should really have had training prior to entering as a music major.  Needless to say I learned A LOT that first year.  The main point is I never gave up.  It didn't matter how many times they told me I wasn't up to par with everyone else I never quit.  I just practiced more.  I did graduate with that music degree and went on to practice music therapy for many years.  Unfortunately, I didn't set that next goal down on paper, and I let those voices from those teachers always linger in the back of my mind and in many ways sabotaged myself.  Another story for another time....

So when I found those goals and notes and realized I had reached all of those, I thought what now?  What do I do with myself now?  Well, I added a few things to my plate, dreamed some and got busy with "life".  Now as I watch my amazing son begin his life adventure I see that same determined look in his eye that I had at that age. He will do great things!

My life will be changing over the next few years as our kids grow, graduate, and move on with their life journey.  As I read and reflected this morning I'm left pondering what is my next dream?  What is my passion and purpose?  What makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning and get going with life?  I truly don't know right now.  In the book I'm reading Debbie says, "What is your biggest dream?  What is the thing that most hangs on your hear and your mind?  Say it out loud: I want to...."  I honestly had no idea what or how I would end that sentence.  That startled me.  Oh there are "things" I dream about and want for my family, but is it a passion and a purpose?

I read about friends who started businesses in their garage and are now a huge success, friends who are CEOs, friends who travel the world, friends who.... you get the idea.  It just makes me pause and think is this it for me?  for my family?  I'm just not sure where that passion and drive is for me right now.  What direction does God have for me next?  What is His plan and purpose for me?  Right now I honestly don't know.  

What's your passion and drive?  What are your dreams and goals, and what keeps you up at night or makes you jump out of bed in the mornings?  If you were to say out loud " I want to..." how would your sentence end?

My First Blog

I've watched friends blog for quite a while now and I've often thought this would be a good way to put down ideas and thoughts that run through my brain at times.  A way to quiet the mind.  Actually taking the time to do this is another story.  However, life and growth give way to changes and make one realize you simply have to make the time and then take it.  I'm not sure how often I will blog, but for now I am simply getting started and we will see where it goes.

When one enters into their 40's you start to take a different look at life and get a new perspective.  I can only imagine what the 50's will have me pondering.  My Mom was only 45 when she left this earth and that has forever affected my life.  In both good and bad ways.  I honestly don't remember much about the two years that followed her death.  At the time I didn't completely realize the depression I had fallen into, but looking back I can see it now.  Her death forever altered my life.  I lost my Mom, best friend, confident, and support system when she left this earth.  I have been trying hard the past few years to get my life back on track.  Oh I didn't go and do anything stupid after her death, but a part of me quit living and I think a part of me quite honestly quit caring.  I'm not even sure anyone truly new or noticed except for probably my incredible husband.  I started trying to pick up the pieces and put my life back together only to have it keep falling apart over and over.  For some of us, God has to let us totally destroy ourselves so we will turn to Him and let Him pick us back up and truly start to "fix" us.  I'm learning I have to "let go and let God".  Truly a hard and difficult lesson for me.

There are so many areas of my life that need to be repaired that there are days I don't even know where to start.  From as complicated as finances to as simple as cleaning and organizing my home.  I've started some baby steps and will blog about these as time goes on.  So this blog is about pondering right now.  Pondering life, family, finances, religion, and anything else that comes to mind....